I’ve finally started the process of building my brand new website. Thanks to so many of you who have loyally checked in here over the past year as we’ve tried to work out kinks and make this initial site accomodate the new direction of my work and of our evolving social change conversation together.

The new site should be up in a few weeks (in development land that probably means a month, right?) and the meantime, please excuse any unusual lack of activity here. I promise, I’ll be back soon with a brand spanking new site that will allow me to engage more with you my friends, clients and fellow world changers.

Love,

E

This has huge implications for our society and generation. From the workforce to our politics, America – and the globe, really – is undergoing some major shifts. How in the world will we be able to handle those shifts if we become more and more isolated?

Just take a look at our schools, our neighborhoods, even our media landscape – the lack of empathy and understanding that we have for those unlike us in any and every way…racially, ideologically, culturally, socioeconomically…is decreasing, even as we have greater access and exposure to it. Sure we’re more “progressive” and “accepting” – but are we really breaking beyond our own filters (especially the ones that we create through technology) to embrace that which is unlike us?

Silicon Values is going to bring together various stakeholders and sectors – business, arts, design, social impact, tech, etc. – for a series of dinners, events and tech challenges to see how we can use technology to help us begin to remedy this problem.

We’ve started with a tumblr to help us share thoughts and ideas about this topic: SiliconValues.co Go there and join the conversation! I’ll be sure to share more project updates here once we launch the event series and hackathon challenge.

When it comes to doing good, giving back, and social change, our generation has discovered and gained so much in such a short amount of time. The only thing that we have lost along the way are the lessons.

Obviously the we is the royal we, within which there are no doubt thousands if not millions of people who do not fit the picture that I’m about to paint. I’m not referring to every single young changemaker in the world. Some study the art and science of social change. Some sit at the feet of our elders and learn. Some pause after each world changing experience and reflect and share. And those are the poweful people that will truly leave a mark on the world.

Unfortunately, our culture of change and doing good has left most of that out.

Because our activism no longer happens in the church basement or the school auditorium after hours; because it no longer comes complete with a Bible or a philosophy textbook; because it no longer includes teaching and sharing, we do big, exciting things but learn no lessons. Not lessons about how to get the most retweets or build a school in a third world country: the lessons about how to approach our work and lives as changemakers, the lessons about what all of this means and how we can make sure to make the biggest and most meaningful, authentic impact we can.

Now believe me, I’m not one of those people that looks at the past through rose colored glasses. Especially a past that I wasn’t even around to experience! I love the newness of NOW – who we are, what we’ve been given and what we’ve created as a generation.

But I work really hard to teach, train and coach those on the cutting edge of social change the lessons that with technology and our exploding diversity can create movements and revolutions like never before. My missions it to help social good minded  individuals and businesses in this new youthful, diverse, tech driven world understand the important lessons of risk & failure, choices and sacrifice, community and opposition, goals and impact – the lessons that are absolutely imperative if we want the new world we are creating to be built to last.

I’m so grateful for those lessons and the life experiences – my own and those of others – that have been such gracious teachers. When this generation combines our natural talent, brightness and spirit with even more big thinking and practice, I have no doubt that we will usher in a new wave of social change – powered by tech and innovation, sustained by that which never goes away: the evergreen lessons of change.

Rick Ross has finally apologized for his rape lyrics. For real this time. I guess getting dropped by Reebok made him (and his publicist) finally understand. Even so, many people have been asking me if all of this “drama” was worth it (and by drama they mean a blazing hot social media campaign and in person protest that made headlines over the past few weeks).

My friends weren’t just asking me because I’m a feminist. They were asking for two other very important reasons:

First, I had an insider’s look into the the early founding of UltraViolet (the organization that started and led the Reebok/Rick Ross campaign). Namely I worked at the organization that helped to accelerate the work of UltraViolet’s brilliant cofounders and current directors. I would frequently sit in on strategy meetings, add my 2 cents, and all around cheerlead their vision. I’m amazed at what they have been able to build and count myself among their growing chorus of fans.

Secondly, I may have been known to play a Maybach Music song now and then.  It isn’t unusual to find me rocking to Ricky Rozay at the gym. Or in the car. I even play the instrumentals while I’m working. Sorry. Don’t judge me. Enough people already have.

So my friends had good reason to ask my opinion on this campaign. Many believed that with all of the serious sexism and rape issues in the world, this was just another example of hip hop being singled out as misogynistic. And I understand where they’re coming from. Why would serious women concerned with serious issues waste so much time on Rick Ross? Especially when he is certainly not the only figure in popular culture that puts out harmful messages about women.

But my response is simple: We all know the phrase “Pick your battles.” You can get upset and start a Change.org petition for every single wrong in the world if you want. There are certainly enough. But as a change maker, you must ultimately learn what makes a battle worth picking. Aside from the actual merits (Is this wrong?), here are 3 criteria that help make a fight a smart one to fight:

1. Timing. Does the timing increase your chances of winning? The right timing can make an issue look silly or important. For the Rick Ross campaign, now was the time. From Congress to Steubenville, the issue of rape has once again come to the forefront of our national conversation. Women deserve for it to stay there. This issue came at a time when people are fed up with rape and a culture that supports it.

2. A vulnerable target. Is there someone that stands to lose if they don’t respond to you? Rick Ross doesn’t necessarily fit that criteria (I doubt his album sales will be impacted, and he has no shortage of endorsement deals). But Reebok does. Protesting an artist over their art rarely makes a difference. But challenging a mainstream brand over their association with an artist can. Every great campaign needs a target.

3. Power building. Does this issue make your constituency more powerful? Let’s be honest: Reebok dropping Rick Ross probably doesn’t make the world a safer place for women. I don’t think that direct connection exists. But more women now know that their voice matters. The social media response to this campaign was unbelievable and ultimately over 100,000 women speaking out made a difference. And their statement was that it is not ok to speak about women’s bodies in that way. In short, women have power – power that can be wielded again and again until broader cultural and political change is made. That is victory.

The Rick Ross campaign isn’t just a story about rape, a rapper, and Reebok. It’s not just about social media and online campaigning. It’s a powerful strategy lesson on how change happens and how to win.

Only the future will tell how other more important fights about women’s bodies and lives will play out. Believe me. There’s a war going on. But for now, we’ve all seen what happens when you pick the right battles to create change. Sometimes, you win.

I remember exactly how I felt one year ago when I first heard the news about Trayvon Martin’s murder: Heartbroken. Enraged. Stunned. But over the next few days those feelings, which remain even today, gave way to something more surprising: Optimism.

As I began to see young black men and women, and then older black men and women, and then people from all races and ages and economic backgrounds posting pictures with hoodies, I became hopeful that this tragedy would somehow, like other unforgettable moments of injustice in history, spark a (re)new(ed) level of engagement amongst everyday people all across America.

It was this hope that led me to go on BET’s 106th & Park for their special episode about Trayvon and issues of justice and violence. I remember telling the audience about the tremendous work that ColorofChange.org had been doing – long before this incident. After the show, teens came up to me with their cell phones and logged on to Color of Change right then and there to join the movement.

So as I sit here a year later, still heartbroken, enraged and stunned about this senseless loss of life, I am still hopeful; still optimistic. Thousands of everyday people are gathering at vigils around the country tonight, wearing hoodies and reflecting on the work that has been done over the past year both for Trayvon’s case, the Stand Your Ground Laws and broader issues of justice. Everyday people who have been radicalized. Everyday people who have signed petitions, gone to more town hall meetings, started organizations, become Big Brothers & Big Sisters….started changing the world.

That is now a part of Trayvon’s blessed legacy. And for that  I am truly grateful.

With adult (age 25+) audiences, opening the floor for Q&A is like opening a casting call, auditions for the part of a lifetime. Usually the ones who take the mic are the people who had prepared questions 5 minutes into my presentation and spent the next 35-40 practicing and fine tuning it in their heads or on note paper to sound sufficiently impressive. Adults ask questions for the sake of being heard – usually they have turned away and gone back to their seat before I’ve finished giving the answer, because what they have asked really isn’t all that important to them. They ask generic questions about my career or my take on a theory they’ve already developed, usually an argument that they want a round of applause for. In fact, most times the questions aren’t even questions but pseudo profound statements that either affirm or challenge what I said for no apparent purpose.

But yesterday was different.

These students raised their hands eagerly and for another 30 minutes, asked questions ranging from the deeply personal: “How did you – did you – ever get over the death of your father? How do you deal with that sadness everyday?” (asked by a young girl in tears who replied with “I cry every day” about her own obvious loss)  to the oddly specific: “Which was harder for you? Going to an out of state school or going to school from home?”. “I’m passionate about music. I have an idea to use that to make the community better. How can I do that?”

They asked REAL questions. Questions about the parts of my story that had stuck out to them and that they wanted to better understand. Questions about what my experience could teach them for the next phase in their life. Questions that were personal and relevant and meaningful to them, not as students or activists or smarty pants, but as humans.

In short: They asked what they needed and wanted to know.

How often do we ask questions that we think are “appropriate”? What others expect from us? Or what make us seem smart and aware rather than the questions that are actually ringing inside us – the ones can really help give us greater understanding & insight?

The ability to question – anything and everything – is one of God’s greatest gifts. It is a privilege to ask why and how. Don’t waste that opportunity. Don’t ever let fear or shame or propriety hold you back. Be like the Delta/Bridgeport High students and ask of life what you want  and need to know. The answer might be just what you’ve been waiting for.

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Right now I’m working on a huge, well-funded and, dare-I-say it FUN project around HIV/AIDS. I know. How rare is that?

I’m not able to talk about the details yet (I’ve been sworn to secrecy!), but suffice it to say that there are major brands, artists, and young people from all over the world involved.

But that’s not what makes it fun. What’s fun is working on something that changes the narrative around a HUGE, persistant problem.

We’re trying to convince young people that stopping the spread of AIDS is . The organization that I’m working with has the data and the research to suggest that if we All we have to do is rally the troops to believe and work towards that goal.

What a difference that one little idea makes! It’s the excitement that comes from knowing that a success isn’t just possible. It’s probable. Likely. Expected. That’s the key.

As changemakers, we walk around every day telling others – and even ourselves – to believe that our goal is possible. In the world, in our communities, even in our own personal and professional lives. And yet, we don’t share any evidence to back that up. All we talk about is how hard it is. How overwhelming the obstacles are. How big the problem is.

Sure it’s possible that I could become an Olympic runner now. But what are the odds? Why do view our own, more important goals the same way?

What if instead you start from a place of assumed victory? Wouldn’t that make you excited to work at it every day? Wouldn’t it help you want to be a part of the inevitable solution rather than toil away at something that you don’t believe is really even going to happen?

Thinking about HIV/AIDS this way was a gamechanger for me. It changed not just how I look at many of the world’s seemingly never ending problems (gun violence, sexual violence, education, etc.) but also all of the obstacles and goals that I have in front of me.

In church we have a saying “Stop telling God how big your problem is. Tell your problem how big God is.” I love it. Stop thinking about how hard it’s going to be to win. Start thinking about how amazing and within reach the solution is – and see the results.